This is how it gets done, boys.

*WARNING* If you know me, work with me, interact with me on a regular basis and you would rather not hear about my nose hair, see photos of my nose hair or read about how I got rid of my nose hair then you don’t want to read this post. Move along.

A few weeks ago I was on the Art of Manliness forum seeking advice for a nose hair trimmer. Nose hair is something that I’ve gradually noticed becoming a part of my life over the last couple of years, but recently it has become more of an irritation to me because my wife is now noticing it and it bothers her and it has started tickling. This being my first time to deal with the issue of nose hair, I went to my favorite source for all things manly, The Art of Manliness, looking for a solution that did not involve tweezers, scissors or that scary freaking electric hoob-a-joob that I see at the department stores.

Enter Al Dickman and The Bullet, the ultimate nose hair trimmer. Al provided a solution on the forum in the form of a pitch for his product. I was sold in an instant and quickly added it to my holiday wish list. Why did I take to it so quickly without even trying it?

• No batteries
  I hate charging my beard trimmer and the idea of having another charger to keep track of or another stinking gadget to fill with batteries is enough for me to want to swallow a whole car battery’s acid and get the whole thing done with. Plus batteries are bad for the environment.
• No plucking
  The Bullet’s website claims that plucking can lead to infection. That seemed like a stretch to me, plucking sucks because it hurts and that’s enough for me. Recently, however, my kids have been prescribed some sort of nasal swab for an infection they have in their skin. Now I’m no doctor, but if a doctor thinks swabbing my kids’ nostrils will clear up an infection like that, then there is no way I’m going to dirty things up with gaping hair holes inside my honker.
• Small footprint
  This thing is small enough to fit easily in a dopp kit or man purse. Awesome.
• Stainless Steel Construction
  I’m a sucker for stainless steel. My beard trimmer feels cheap because it’s made from plastic that creaks every time I take it into my gigantic man-hands. Stainless steel is tough enough for the abuse that I’m sure to bring upon it.

Before The Bullet

Soon after posting that The Bullet would be a welcome addition to my stocking, Al contacted me about sending me one in return for writing this review and reporting back to the chaps at the forum on my experience. I used the Bullet the night I received it. Here are my first impressions:

• This thing is crazy small
  It was much smaller than I had imagined it being. I could probably just store the trimmer inside my nose for easy access when I need it.
• It’s solidly built
  For the size that it is, it feels heavy. Not so heavy that it is cumbersome. Just heavy enough to let you know that what you are holding is a finely crafted, well machined tool for grooming. There are only three parts to The Bullet; the bottom cylinder which contains the blade slides into the top cylinder which acts as a guard to keep you from cutting yourself. The two cylinders are kept together with a single screw.
• I had no idea how to use it
  I admit I was intimidated at first. What if I cut myself? What if I damage something in there? What if it gets lost in my nose? Fortunately The Bullet comes with documentation that explains how to use it and clean it.

After getting acquainted with my new nose hair trimmer I nervously positioned myself in front of the mirror and prepared myself for an experience completely alien to me. The Bullet works by holding the top cylinder with one hand and twisting the bottom cylinder back and forth to engage the blades. The movement was very smooth thanks to a small amount of lube between the cylinders.

I quickly found out that you can’t just stick it in and twist to get the job done. No. To properly trim my nose hair required a bit more thought. I found the best results were had when I gently placed the blade guards against the skin of my nostrils and then turned the cylinders. After a short amount of practice I had succeeded in removing most of the offensive hair creeping out of my nose. The documentation warned me not to expect a cleanly shorn nose which makes sense since the whole point of nose hair is to keep you from breathing in saw dust or whatever else might be in the air.

When I finished using the bullet I brushed out the hair using my badger brush but a tooth brush will work too. The only maintenance it will ever need is a bit more lubrication later on. Easy work.

After The Bullet

After showing the results to my wife, I felt confident that The Bullet had done it’s job. It was painless and will become easier the more I use it, which will be more and more often as I get older. But that’s okay, the craftsmanship displayed in The Bullet will insure that it is with me until I croak or become so old that I don’t give a crap about nose hair. And in the case that I lose it, I know I can replace it for only $35. Not a bad price for something that once you start using it you’ll never stop.

Pros:
No batteries! No plucking, scissors or electric motors in your nose! Small size. Well constructed. Easy to maintain and clean. Well priced.

Cons:
Small enough to lose (but it comes with a case). More expensive than what you can get at a department store. May take some practice (but doesn’t everything?).

Price: $35

Where to buy: www.thebullet.tv